I'll be back

Ima post everything on sunday:P

Catching up and what not.

Been a couple of days since I've last blogged? This week's gna be really short, like 2 nd a half days. School has been crappy lately. My grades are progressively dropping .. I don't know why but it seems like my classes are getting harder and harder. Chem is starting to get confusing, French2 is a bitch, Pre-Cal is pointless, and English3 is really bs. I feel hella guilt right now cuz I ditched 6th period (my last) and went home just to end the day. Fckk, atm, I feel like I should have stayed but at the same time, if I had stayed, I would've felt like just dropping. Spontaneous headaches have been getting me at the most randomest moments ever - especially in class. Took a test for pre-cal today and ohhweee, pretty sure I bombed it. Chem test was pretty easy, but who knows. Faggit Biaye didn't let me finish my French2 test just because everybody else finished before me and he wanted to "move on" what a nuthole. I swear, sometimes I feel like just dropping out of school, period. I mean, classes I'm taking isn't even required to survive throughout the future. Come on, who the hell uses pre-calculus for everyday use? Wow.. I thought school was supposed to help; More like tearin' up our lives.

I'm only lookin forward to Thanksgiving. My aunt from Canada will be coming here to visit and we're gna take a roadtrip to L.A. Me and her are hella chill. I think she's the only person I can talk to and tell her everything, but sometimes she's a big mouth and tell my parents haha :P She's cool though, late 20's and she loves to party. DISNEYLAND! Can't wait.

This is just a horrible dream right?
I wonder when I will wake up.

Goddam, this is my jam.

Aye whats good guys. So a little recap of my friday. Probably sickest day so far this week? haha, aiite so I was late for first period this morning. My fckin phone died, and that was my alarm right? So my dad comes in the room and he's all like, "Are you going to school or what?" I look around and I'm like, "What?" He leaves the room hella mad and this was literally my face expression .. 'o.o;' I go into the bathroom and look at the time. FCKIN 6:50! Damnn. So I hella rushed everything. This was the last day of the grading period and I forget my poster due that day. What more can go wrong right? But everything started easing up. The daily Independence announcements came up and they said there was a special guest today at lunch. Wonder who it could be? So we all waited till lunch came by, and there was a silver suv parked in front of the senior stage. "...GIVE IT UP FOR, SOREAL CRU!" Holy shit! hahaha. Damn, that fckin made my day right there. Yeh, they were pretty sick. Ailyn is hot x]. I wanted their autographs so bad, but then there were hella heads crowded in front of me. Yet again, I let another opportunity fly by.. everything else after that was pretty much the same. Took a french test and that was it. Pretty easy?

So came home, stayed on aim for a bit then went out to the park, as you can see from the picture up top. Vanna came out with Eddie and Danar. Played a few games of 21 x]. Let's just say, things went the way I wanted it to LOL. Vanna got hella pissed cuz I kept on blocking him. Fckin spiked Danar's shot haha! Yeh, I got my 3-ball game down. Lookin pretty good. So went home, finished my homework and waited for ma mere to come home so we can go get me Left 4 Dead. Went to walmart and got it from there. Left the place and there was a Monster Give-a-way. Truck-load of monsters and they gave it all away. Took like 4 for myself? haha mmm. Yeah, I spent the remaining hours of my night playing L4D with Izzy, Brandon, and Andy. Haha these fools are fckin funny. But hmm, that was my friday.. pretty interesting right? Let's just see what's up ahead for today.


..Cuz she got her own thing
that's why I love her..

Trouble?

I don't like this. Always feelin' worried, upset, disappointed, betrayed; what's causing this? I don't know why but I always have a fear of talking to you. Is it because I'm afraid of getting hurt? Afraid of losing you? Afraid that we will never talk to each other ever again? Afraid that we will be forgotten and everything we had, flushed down the toilet? Fck, wish I'd know.. I'm tryna take it all in right now. It would really help if you were here with me right now.

Been hella busy with school and sht, not much time to do anything else. Finished my M.L.K. project - what a relief, and no, not milk .. adrienne! haha. So I hella panicked during lunch today cuz I forgot my french 2 book somewhere and I couldn't find it! Goddam haha. $80 for that sht? Noo thanks ... So me and Izzy checked around my previous classes, it wasn't in any of them. I felt hella bad and shit, so I decided to ditch 6th period. First time for the year alright? chill b! haha. Shoulda went home but decided to kick it with Izzy for a bit inside the office in the boys' locker room (since he's student aide n what not). I go up the stairs and stand there, fckin Izzy looks around the office and he's all like "Hey!" I turn around and he hands me my french book. LOL! Forgot I left it there for first period. Haha dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Mhm, no homework today. Fckin rest at last! HALLELUJAH! HAHA. Spelled that right, right? x]
Gettin' Left 4 Dead tomorrow, ima be playin all night with the boys. Bring it! hah.

I'm trying. I really am. My grades are bs, but I want you to know, I'm trying. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to try, my grades are getting lower and lower. Fck this sht man, all you ever do is compare me to others. Listen to yourself, please, I beg of you, I am not them. I am me, I have my own life, I lead my own path, I can handle myself - just stop before I walk the wrong way. If you think it's so easy, why don't you try it yourself? Feel the pain I do. Feel the work I go through. Feel the type of life I'm living in. It's not always good. My life is filled with stress, emptyness, loveless, I'm basically on my own. My life is crazy - but you don't know that. Just walk in my shoes and you'll explore a whole different world.

Reminiscing

Giving it up was the hard part; realizing that it was not worth it was even harder. I know that it might be best for me, but it's so hard to see it disappear just like that. Thought I'd be able to gain something out of this .. but I haven't seen anything yet. Maybe I have to wait a bit longer? Idk. Feelin' so bad because I've let so many people down, I didn't think they'd really care that much about it though. Actually, come to think of it, nobody really cared until I brought it up. So it's whatever now. I'm tired of feelin' upset over the same bs constantly. What's past is past; I only have to worry about the present and future.

No shit I'm not alright .. just tryna cover it up cuz I thought you'd be able to figure it out yourself by now. Did this all for you and you just disappeared. Vanished and never came back. Thought you avoided me because it basically took over my life. Thought you avoided me because you thought I wouldn't have the time. Thought you avoided me because it was all I ever talked about. Well, here I am.
Wish you'd care more, but, I can't change you right? Really, I'm not tryn to. Just wanted something for you to think about. There's always this guy, then there's that guy, then back to this guy, and then, BAM! Karma just smacked you hard. It's a bitch ain't it? And what do you do? Come cryin to me like you always do. Just when I think there's a little spark that slowly ignites, it fades before it can no longer continue on. There you go again ..just like music on repeat.

screw it

Hah, mmm saturday ... boring. Well not really. Parents left me home alone to Stockton since morning and I'm pretty much free to do anything I'd like. Thing is, I have no idea what to do. The only thing helping right now is blasting my music, it's keeping me hyped up over .. nothing xD.
Just got back from the park playing basketball. It was pretty awkward cuz this girl came over to me and asked if she can take a few pictures of me playing for her photo class. "Sure, whatever."
Yeah haha. I don't remember what her name was but she's a freshmen at AndrewHill. Pretty cute LOL. Time for homework :/

So many opportunities to do whatever I'd like, yet my moral is nearly perfected without a notice. People offer me drugs, alcohol, gang fights, crime, everything; yet I turn them all down. I do believe I am way above the influence. If only my parents could see that, maybe they'd start trusting me more instead of being overly protective. I know what's right and wrong, I'm not stupid. Trust is the only thing that I ask for, but it seems like it's nearly impossible to recieve that from my folks. I don't know what to do anymore to earn that. Any help?

Friday Night!

Ohhweeee, it's Friday! I'm probably staying home for the weekend again, no plans .. hah. Got hella homework and a project due next week, I need a head start on that. Hope I'll be busy at least. Well for the rest of the night, amma be doing whatever. 360 Live with the boys most likely, talk with the musts on aim ;), then idk. Haha, hurray for no drama today! Lovin' it. Thank you thank you thank you. Such a relief. I'm not in the mood right now, I'll probably edit this later on when I feel a bit more serious.

..

Idk, it's whatever. She's ignoring me, I'm ignoring her .. blah! Frreal though, I can care less if I wanted to. Thing is, you're a one of a kind. I don't want you out of my life that easily. Look, I'm sorry for whatever I did to piss you off k? It's so stupid how we're not even talking just because of something so childish!
Ehh .. talk to me when you're ready, I'll be waiting.
Watching them warriors will probably keep my mind off of things









cross out the 2007 and put '09 ;)
It's annoying how you keep everything to yourself. I offer you my hands and yet you turn it away like it doesn't abide. Keep believing the world is against you - -. It ain't even like that. There will always be an answer to a problem, otherwise, it would not exist at all. Quit blaming yourself fool, just tell me what's up. I'm always here for you. If you let those assholes ruin you like that, might as well shoot yourself and get it over with if you're not gonna let me help. You run into the same trap every time. It's no longer fun and games anymore. This is life; life is all about moving on and trying something new. Hey, I don't blame you though. This is all part of growing up right? .. best believe it is girl. Have ta learn from your own mistakes, yaknow? Gotta run free in the sun instead of waiting for rain, baiting for more pain. Trust me, he does not care.

what the fxck is love?

You're hella trippin' b.
You're hella cute n all but seriously, get a grip.
You're not helping if you're gonna bust out like that and start goin berzerk.

Take it easy ..
Take it slow ..
Breathe in ..
Breathe out ...
o.o

talk to me?

Love is such a strong word that should be used carefully. Once messed around with, you will get wrong ideas and it will most likely leave you screwed over mentally. Please, just leave it alone till' the time is right..
..this is too much for one night.

Real talk though.

Aye what it do guys, this is your boy Michael aka T. First things first, you see I have just created this blogspot thing. First time for everything right? This shit is confusing haha, but s'all good, I'll keep at it. So the point of this is just for me to express my feelings and opinions. Yeah that's right, I ain't afraid :P
Read all you'd like. I'm an open person and you should be to; ain't nothing wrong with that. Just like I say, Fuck The Haters.


Friends will be with you no matter what. Those who think they can just walk away and do shit ain't real with you. Fuck 'em. There are billions of people around the world dying to meet somebody new. Will you let one just take you down like that? Ignore those who drag you down and make life miserable. Keep ya heads up and appreciate the things you have around you, and hey, if those nigguhs wanna leave? Let them. Their own lost..